Walking Away, and Coming Back
An artist’s short story.
Eight years ago I walked away from painting & collage work. It was a rash, impetuous decision made in a moment of doubt and overwhelm. I really wanted to simplify my life in order to find focus.
In my real life outside of my job, I am an artist and a photographer. At the time I made the decision to abandon my art practice, I had just discovered that there are apps that allow you to combine multiple photos in ways I had never imagined. It blew my life wide open in the best ways possible.
And it was also overwhelming having yet another creative practice I was following.
Maybe it’s my job, which is complex and has me working on dozens of different projects & initiatives at the same time, all the time. Or maybe it’s just me- maybe I’m not built to focus well on many things.
In any case, I am not good at focusing on more than one or two things in life and in a moment of being overwhelmed with decisions, I knew I had to cut something out.
So, I chose to cut painting & collage. I was enamored with digital art & photography (I still am!) and I wanted to spend my time only focused on one thing. So I gave up all art that was made physically, by hand. I gave all of my supplies away, I dropped piles of my paintings at the Goodwill and got rid of all the evidence except for my collage papers collection, which I neatly tucked away in a little vintage suitcase in the closet. And that was it. For eight years, I haven’t painted or created anything with my hands.
To be honest, it hurt a little. I need to make things and stepping away from it all was ultimately the right thing but it definitely rocked my confidence and there was a long period of second guessing myself.
But in so many ways it was freeing and exactly what I needed. No piles of art supplies to wrangle, no studio space needed, no mental space or energy taken up by it.
Everything I needed for digital art I could hold in the palm of my hand. I was suddenly able to do my work from anywhere, at any time and it led to creating more than I would have thought possible with that shift.
Eventually I gave up other things for my digital artwork too- ukulele, my 10,000 sketches project, cycling, gardening, etc… I absolutely love creating digital art with my phone though and I’m so glad I made the decision because it allowed me to go further with my work than I could have any other way.
It was a full stop on a lot of fronts in my life.
Fast forward 8 or so years and I started reading here on Substack a few months ago. And then somehow I ran across collage artist, Duane Toops:
His collage work
lit. me. up.
Such simple colorful compositions- and beautiful. It was so inspiring!
The message was clear. It was time for me to get back to work. And suddenly in the same way I had quickly pivoted to digital art, I have come back to creating physical collage work.
When I look at these I can see how my photography now informs my collage work and that I’m creating completely different kinds of compositions than I ever have before. I couldn’t have gotten here through any other path.
Like Steve Jobs said:
You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.
The other thing I realize when I look at these is that my digital artwork is really collage work too.
So in the end, I did walk away. But then I came back.
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If you want to support at amazing artist, Duane Toops sells his collages here and now he’s also selling packets of collage papers, many handmade by him, which are amazing!
You’re reading this article on my main page. Here you’ll hear more about my art projects, what my life is like in Antarctica and more.
I have another publication where I focus on digital artwork and creating on iPhones. It will include instructional posts as well as some of my digital artwork.
I’m just getting this publication rolling but you can sign up for it here:
Andrea! Thanks so much for the mention here! I'm humbled, honored, and grateful all at once! This is a round up of amazing work, both digital and analog! I'd be lost without having access to both worlds. I appreciate that you share that affinity too! So glad you found your way back! I love what you're doing!
Fabulous work. So glad you came back!